Things Boomers Did Before WiFi

Lyrics

G’day legends… before WiFi, before iPads… this is how we did it! We played outside till the streetlights came on, Mum yell “Dinner!” from the front lawn. Rode our bikes with no helmets, no fear, Now that’s child endangerment, Karen my dear! Climbed trees, built cubby houses out of scrap, Fell and got up with a bandaid and a slap. No screen time, no likes, no dopamine hit, Just fresh air and scabby knees that was it! Things Boomers did before WiFi, We survived and we turned out alright! No Google, no TikTok, no safe space zone, We just got on with it and called it home. From the backyard to the footy oval green, We lived real life know what I mean? Now they call it toxic, they call it abuse, But we’re still stand-in’… what’s your excuse?! We drank from the garden hose, straight from the tap, Tasted like iron and a bit of possum crap. Sat in the car with the windows up tight, No seatbelts, just singin’ to the radio at night. Mum smoked in the kitchen, Dad had a few beers, We turned out fine despite all the fears! Now they want warnings on every little thing, “Trigger warning: this song might make you sing!” Things Boomers did before WiFi, We survived and we turned out alright! No Google, no TikTok, no safe-space zone, We just got on with it and called it home. From the backyard to the footy oval green, We lived real life know what I mean? Now they call it toxic, they call it abuse, But we’re still stand-in’… what’s your excuse?! We knew our neighbours, we played knock-and-run, Fixed our own bikes when the chain came undone. No passwords, no logins, no two-factor hell, Just “I’ll be home when the sun goes down, farewell!” I tried to tell my grandkids the other day, They looked at me like I was from the Stone Age, eh? Said “You’re traumatising us with these stories old man!” I said “Good! Builds character now go play in the sand!” We watched four channels and that was plenty, Argued over the remote like it was twenty. Got lost on road trips with a paper map, Asked for directions imagine that! No apps, no trackers, no constant control, Just freedom, adventure, and a stubbie for the soul. Now every feeling needs a counselling session, Mate… we just got over it that was our protection! Things Boomers did before WiFi! We survived and we turned out alright! No Google, no TikTok, no safe-space zone, We just got on with it and bloody well owned! Raise your beer to the good ol’ days, When life was simple in so many ways. They can cancel us, they can call us mad, But we’re the last ones who actually had… Things Boomers did before WiFi… Yeah we did ‘em… and we’re still alive! G’day… now pass the sauce, mate!